


What Are We?

by msalexiscriss



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: After S01E13, Fluff, Friendship, I Don't Even Know, Immortality-Mortality talk, M/M, Post Season 1, Relationship Advice, Romance, Silly boys getting their shits together, reaction fic, well kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:49:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6989872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msalexiscriss/pseuds/msalexiscriss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus and Alec are miserable. Since Valentine stole the Cup and took Jace, they had barely spoken. The mortality-immortality issue that Camille brought to the table seems to have created a gap between them that they don’t know how to fix. Fortunately for them, there are people in their corners to remind them that good things happen even in the darkest of times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Are We?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!! Here's a very short one-shot that I wrote a while ago. I hadn't posted it because I totally forgot about it (silly me). It's a reaction fic to the show's season finale. Although I'm happy with what they did, I couldn't help but wonder what happened with Magnus and Alec relationship-wise after that immortality-mortality talk, so I wrote a little something. I really hope you like it!!!
> 
> Anyway, since you all have given me a very warm welcome as a malec fic writer, I have decided to post a new fic (or update) every Friday starting today. So yes, this is me (Alexis) promising y'all that I will write a new fic (multi-chapter or one-shot depends on my mood) every week until the end of time (XD), so I hope you stick around because I have a lot in store for these two ;)

Alec’s world was completely upside down. In the past few weeks he had seen everything that he had cared about crumble down before his eyes and he had been unable to do anything to stop it. His tutor and friend, Hodge, had betrayed them, Valentine had now the Mortal Cup, and Jace, willingly or not, had joined him; his parents still hated him for what he had done at the failed wedding, the Institute was a living hell, and the Clave was breathing down their necks.

It seemed as if every decision Alec had made so far had been for the worse. He had lost so much already—his brother and parabatai, the Mortal Cup, the Clave’s respect, his parents’ trust. And, _all for what?_ He had nothing and he felt so frustrated.

And the main reason of that frustration lay in the fact that despite everything that was happening they all, Izzy, Clary, Jocelyn, and even his parents, had someone with them to help them get through all this...but he didn’t.

Well, technically he did because Magnus was there for him, the Warlock had said so himself when everything had happened, but Alec wasn’t sure if that was true anymore. Since they had awakened Jocelyn, he and Magnus had barely spoken. It had been a couple of chaotic weeks and every time Alec had seen Magnus it had been in some kind of work-related situation. They all had been trying to find a way to track Valentine and retrieve Jace and the Cup, so the opportunities to spend some time in private with the Warlock had been very few.

Not that Alec had been looking for them either, truth be told, he had been avoiding Magnus at all cost. What Camille had said about Alec's mortality was true. _What kind of future could he expect with someone like Magnus?_ The mortality-immortality issue seemed to be a deal-breaker from the very beginning, and the worst part was that they hadn't even started anything yet.

Alec sighed loudly.

“Are you okay, big bro?” Izzy asked, taking a seat beside him.

Alec had sought refuge from all the drama in the library of the Institute. “No,” he said, “everything is messed up, Iz. Valentine, the Cup, Jace, our parents, the Clave…”

“Magnus.” Izzy added.

Alec frowned at her.

“We all have noticed it, Alec,” she continued, “but it’s okay, big bro. Not all relationships are perfect.”

“We are not in a relationship.” Alec said.

“You’re not? But, why? Is it because of that lip-lock?” Izzy questioned, bringing up the day they had seen Camille kissing Magnus. “I mean, yeah, it was wrong, but it was all Camille’s doing, Alec. I don’t think Magnus likes her anymore. He likes you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“It’s not that. He told me that the thing between them was ancient history and I believe him, but…” Alec hesitated.

“What?”

“It’s complicated.” Alec said. He didn’t even know how to voice his own thoughts. He was deeply confused. “I don't think that being in a relationship with someone like Magnus is a good idea.”

“Why? Because of what our parents think?” Izzy asked. “You can’t let them control your life, Alec.”

“Like you let them controlled yours?” Alec retorted.

“You know I just let them because I was trying to help you.”

“I know.” Alec sighed loudly.

“Alec…” Izzy said, taking Alec’s hands in hers. “What’s wrong? Talk to me, big brother.”

“We are doomed, Iz. That’s what happens.” Alec said, finally letting the words to come out of his mouth. “What Camille said is true, Magnus is immortal, I'm not. How long can I expect him to be with me? Twenty years? Thirty, if I’m lucky? We can’t have what other couples have, Iz. I can’t expect him to be with me until I’m a crippled old man. I can’t ask him to see me die and then go on with his life as if I had never existed. It’s not fair. I think it’s better if I just focus on work and forget about him.”

Izzy smiled, and Alec frowned in confusion. He had been expecting some kind of _are-you-out-of-your-mind_ speech, but that had not happened. His sister was just looking at him as if he were… _what? Stupid? Oblivious? Naive?_ He didn’t even know.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He questioned.

“Because sometimes you’re so damn cute it's almost painful to watch.” She said, softly caressing Alec’s cheek. “If you had heard how you said that last part you would be laughing at yourself too. I hate to break it to you, big bro, but you clearly don’t sound convinced that forgetting Magnus and focusing on work is what you really want to do. On the contrary, I would say that what you really want is quite the opposite.”

Alec rolled his eyes.

“You’re just scared about it, which is fine, Alec. I mean, all this is new for you, so it’s okay if you’re hesitant about it, but what I don’t get is why you're worrying about the future. You are preventing yourself from having a beautiful relationship with a great man because of a future that has not yet happened and that, to my knowledge, is always uncertain.” Izzy said in all her wisdom. “Alec, you can’t base your happiness on that, no one can predict what will happen. We’re Shadowhunters, we can die at any moment. And Magnus is a Warlock, yes, they are immortal, but immortality doesn’t mean invincibility, he could die too.”

Alec shook his head. He didn’t even want to picture a world in which Magnus was not alive—it wasn’t right.

“What I’m trying to say here is that you don’t know what’s yet to come. For all I know we could all die on this war against Valentine. You should enjoy your present instead of worrying about the future.”

Alec chuckled. “I don’t know if you’ve been living under a rock or what, but my present is not exactly a fairy-tale at the moment.”

“I know that. We all have a lot on our plates, big brother. But you can’t let the good things you do have to slip from your fingers just because bad things are happening. We’re going to find Valentine and retrieve the Cup and our brother. I know you’re worried about him, but don’t be...he’s fine. You, of all people, should know that. You’re his parabatai. If Jace were suffering or in any kind of pain you would be feeling it through your bond, and you’re not. So stop being an idiot and just go talk to Magnus. Have a drink or something with him. He needs it too. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but he looks as miserable as you.”

Of course Alec had noticed it. He noticed everything about Magnus—the way he dressed, the way he talked, the way he moved. And Izzy was right, he had to stop worrying about the future. He had to live his present even if it looked as dark as the night.

“You’re right.” He said.

“Of course I’m right. Now, go and talk to him! You both need it.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Alec said, although he was dying to go. His sister had forgotten that first, it was almost midnight, and second, their parents were home. “Our parents-”

“-are on their way to Idris.” She interrupted him. “I saw them leaving.”

“I have to fill the reports about the progress in the investigation and-”

“-and you could ask your sister to do that for you while you enjoy some time off with your boyfriend.” Izzy interrupted, yet again.

Certainly she was leaving Alec with no other option but to say yes—and he was dying to say yes.

“Fine.” Alec sighed, trying to hide his smile. He was feeling happy for the first time in weeks.

“Go!” Izzy said, pushing him out of the library. “And don’t you dare to come back, I don’t want to see you until tomorrow.”

Alec smiled and disappeared from view. He had a certain Warlock to visit.

o-o-o-o-o

Magnus was pacing around his loft, trying to make as much noise as possible. He lived in one of the most chaotic cities in the world, and yet, his loft felt overwhelmingly silent. He was tired, tired as he hadn't been in centuries, but he couldn't, for the love of all that was good and holy, go to sleep. It had been some...interesting weeks and his head was a whirlwind of emotions.

Working alongside the Nephilim had always represented a challenge that he had hated since the first time he had done it. However, this time he couldn’t just do what he had done in the past—leave. He had a very good reason to stay: Alexander Lightwood.

That stupid Nephilim that had gotten under his skin. If it weren’t for him, Magnus would already be very far away from New York, probably in Paris or Prague, enjoying some nice weather and staying as far away as possible from Valentine and the unnecessary drama that seemed to come whenever he was around.

“Alexander…” Magnus whispered the boy’s name. They hadn’t properly talked since the incident with Camille. At first because Magnus had tried to give Alec some time to think. He had sensed that the mortality-immortality issue had bothered him, but then because, well, Alec had been avoiding him on purpose, and Magnus didn’t even know what to think of that.

His friends would say that Alec’s behavior was a clear sign of his evident lack of interest, but Magnus knew it wasn't true. Alec had kissed him at the wedding, it had been his choice, nobody had forced him. So he knew that whatever was going on between them had nothing to do with lack of interest from one of the parties, it was something else, and Magnus was almost certain that it had everything to do with what Camille had told them. He cursed the day she had crossed their paths.

“Maybe Camille’s actions had nothing to do with what’s happening and it’s all your fault. Maybe your whole _'giving him space'_ plan backfired. Maybe your Shadowhunter got the wrong idea and thinks you're not interested anymore. After all, you’ve never been the brightest crayon in the box, my friend.” Ragnor said. “That’s why we never let you make the plans.”

“Why do you keep popping up like this?” Magnus said a bit scared. The presence of his late friend had made him jump. “One of these days you’re going to give me a heart attack. And let me tell you, I never thought that my death would be so...mundane.”

Ragnor laughed. “I told you, I’m always going to be here for you when you need me, and if I’m here is because apparently, you need me.”

Magnus sighed and poured himself a glass of red wine. “So what’s your advice this time, huh?”

“Go talk to him. Tell him that you just tried to give him time and ask him if he’s still interested. I know you are all busy fixing the mess that that erratic Nephilim is causing, but that doesn't mean that you have to be miserable while doing it. Look at you...you look pathetic, my friend.” Ragnor said, pointing at Magnus’s less than appealing aspect.

Magnus couldn't deny that it had been a few days since he had stopped caring about the way he looked. He had been more concerned about finding the blond Shadowhunter just to see Alec smile again. He knew that Alexander was extremely worried about his parabatai and Magnus hated seeing him like that, so he had put all his energies into the rescue mission, forgetting a little about everything else, including his personal appearance.

“I don’t know…” Magnus meditated Ragnor’s advice for some seconds. He knew his friend was right, but he couldn’t just go to the Institute. It was almost midnight, and he was sure that Maryse and Robert Lightwood weren’t going to be very happy with his late night visit. “I can’t go to the Institute at this late hour. It will have to wait.”

“Don’t be a coward, my dear friend. Love cannot wait.” Ragnor said. He had his eyes fixed on the breathtaking view of the city that Magnus’s loft provided. “But luckily for you, relationships usually consist of two individuals, and yours seems to be braver than you.”

Magnus frowned at his friend’s cryptic-ness and was about to reply when the doorbell rang, breaking the silence that seemed to have settled in the loft in the past few days.

“It’s not him…is it?” He questioned in a whisper.

“Why don’t you open and find out?” Ragnor suggested.

Magnus turned around just for two seconds to look at the door and when he turned back the spirit, apparition or whatever of his friend was gone. He was alone again, but this time there was someone waiting at his doorstep.

o-o-o-o-o

Alec felt that every second he spent standing outside Magnus’s door was a second in which he lost the courage he had gathered so far. For some strange reason Magnus’s door had been locked when he had arrived and although he fully understood—New York City was very dangerous, after all—that hadn’t happened before. Every time he had come to ask for Magnus’s help the door had been open—at least for him.

“Alexander...what are you doing here?” Magnus asked when he opened the door. Alec noticed that the Warlock looked particularly tired. There were dark circles under his eyes and not enough glitter on his face and clothes, something quite unusual.

“I came to...drink.” Alec said. He had plotted an entire speech in his head for this moment, but the sight of Magnus looking so tired had made him forget it completely.

“By all means...be my guest.” Magnus said, stepping aside to let Alec enter the loft.

Alec, instead of waiting for Magnus, walked straight to the tray of drinks that his boyf-Magnus always had in the middle of the living room. There was a bottle of wine already open there, so he grabbed a glass and poured himself some wine. He didn’t like red wine so much, but he knew that due to the situation, he needed some alcohol to give him the courage to say what he wanted to say.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked worriedly.

Alec could hear the concern in his voice, so he nodded as quickly as he could. The few sips of wine that he had had so far were already warming his stomach.

“What are we, Magnus?” Alec asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what you understood. What are we? Are we in some sort of relationship? Or, are we just two guys who kissed once and that's it?”

“I don’t know.” Magnus said, and Alec knew he was being sincere. The Warlock looked concerned and taken aback with that simple question. “We agreed to take things slow, but certainly I want us to be more than friends.”

“I want that too.” Alec said, taking a sip of his wine. It was helping, _who knew that red wine could actually work better than the courage in battle rune?_

“Good.” Magnus said. He was standing all awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

Alec wanted to laugh because this was the first time he had seen Magnus look so nervous. Usually, he was very composed and sure of himself. It was a revealing and satisfying feeling for Alec to realize that he had that kind of power over the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

“I want us to have a date tonight.” Alec said.

“Well, I guess we could go and get some midnight snack or something if you want. This is New York after all, restaurants are still open.”

Alec shook his head, because he didn't want the chaos of a restaurant, he wanted the peace he felt whenever he was at Magnus’s home. He wanted to have Magnus just for himself, if only for a couple of hours. “I don’t-I...I want us to stay here, at your place.”

“Okay…” Magnus said.

The Warlock had walked a few steps and now he was just a few feet away from Alec, and all Alec could think about was the fact that Magnus’s lips looked extremely tempting with the soft light that filtered through the balcony door.

“And, what do you want us to do, Alexander?” Magnus asked. He had, at some point, recovered his confident demeanor, and now he was looking at Alec with the same intensity he always did.

“I-I...don’t know.” Alec confessed because he hadn’t thought so ahead of that. His plan didn’t include a set of activities. He just wanted to be where Magnus was. “I-I didn’t plan anything, I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. I mean, I-I...this is kind of my first date ever, so I don’t know the rules and-”

“Relax.” Magnus said, placing one of his long fingers in front of Alec’s mouth. “There are no rules for dates, Alexander. So, why don’t we just relax and start with a drink?”

Alec looked at the glass he was already holding.

“A new drink.” Magnus quickly added.

“Okay.”

Magnus grabbed the bottle of wine and refiled their glasses. “To us.” He said, lifting his glass.

“To us.” Alec agreed, clinking his glass against Magnus’s. Somehow the wine smelled and tasted sweeter than before. Alec was almost certain that Magnus’s magic had had something to do with that subtle change in the bouquet.

“I figured we could use something sweeter.” Magnus said as a matter of explanation. It seemed as if he could read Alec’s thoughts. “These past few weeks have been awful to say the least. I think we deserve something...less bitter.”

Alec couldn't agree more. He took another sip of wine, closed his eyes, and felt his body relaxing almost immediately.

“Now you're awfully quiet, did I do something wrong?” Magnus asked.

Alec shook his head. He hadn’t realized he had stayed with his eyes closed for a couple of minutes. “No, I just...I like to be here.” He confessed.

“I like having you here. You always light up this place with your presence, I like that.”

Alec smiled. “There’s something I’d like to do.” He said, all nervous.

“What is it?” Magnus asked intrigued.

Alec took both their glasses and put them on top of the coffee table. He was nervous, but the smile on Magnus’s face was giving him the courage to do what he so desperately wanted to do.

“This.” He said, pulling Magnus from his blue night robe and kissing him hard. He knew he was an inexperienced kisser, but he could feel Magnus's passionate reaction. The Warlock was breathing hard and his arms were linked around Alec's neck, trying to bring him closer.

Alec  figured he wasn’t so bad at kissing after all.

“By the Angel, I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks.” Alec confessed. He had pulled back just a little to see Magnus’s face, to make sure that what was happening was real and not some sort of dream. Nobody knew it, but ever since the kiss at the wedding Alec had been having dreams—beautiful dreams, weird dreams, wet dreams—where Magnus was the sole protagonist.

“Then do it again.” Magnus challenged him.

And so he did, Alec didn’t waste any time and just kissed him again.

o-o-o-o-o

Magnus had been awake all night. He was tired and his eyelids felt heavy, but he had been unable to look away from Alec’s face ever since the Shadowhunter had surprised him with his visit. After their very impromptu, but yet amazing, make-out session, Magnus had offered Alec to stay, and to his surprise, the Shadowhunter had said yes. They hadn’t done anything more than kissing, Magnus was almost certain Alec wasn’t ready for more, but they had moved their affectionate display to the bedroom and let their hands explore the safe places of their bodies.

It had been hot, extremely hot, Magnus still felt chills just thinking about it. They had kissed and kissed, and touched and kissed again—Magnus knew he could go on like that forever. But then, after some time Alec had started to show signs of tiredness and without any warning he had fallen asleep.

Magnus thought about sleeping too, after all, he couldn’t do anything else; he had a double sized Shadowhunter on top of him, but the sight of Alec sleeping was so breathtakingly beautiful that he preferred to just stay awake and watch his boyfriend sleep quietly on his chest.

 _Was Alec his boyfriend? Was that what they were...boyfriends?_ Well, certainly it had felt like that. Or at least that was what Magnus had sensed from Alec’s behavior. They both wanted this and if what the Shadowhunters had said during the little almost nonexistent talk they had had between kisses was true, then yes, they were officially boyfriends. Alec had clearly said that he didn’t want to think about the future and just wanted to live the present and enjoy what they had.

_What they had…_

Magnus smiled at the thought of that. It seemed such a surreal thought, but apparently it was true. He hadn’t imagined anything. The sun peeking through the windows was his proof that what had happened the night before was true and not some kind of hallucination induced by the alcohol he sometimes abused of.

“What time is it?” Alec asked, barely moving.

“I guess a little bit past six, dear.” Magnus said, being very careful of his words. He didn’t want to scare Alec or ruin the magic of the moment. He would kill to wake up like this for the rest of his immortal life.

“I have to be in the Institute at nine.” Alec muttered. “But I don’t want to go, I want to stay here.” He added.

Magnus smiled. This boy didn’t have a clue how much simple words as the ones he had just said could affect Magnus.

“Then stay.”

Alec didn’t answer, but Magnus could feel him smiling.

“Besides, I have to be at the Institute as well. We have that meeting to keep looking for Valentine, remember? You asked me to be there after ten.”

“True.”

“We could go together, if you want? I don’t know, have some breakfast first? I don’t see why you can’t be late. I mean, the meeting will start until we both are there anyway.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” Alec said. He hadn’t moved an inch.

“Then, let’s sleep for a couple more hours.” Magnus said, finally closing his eyes. He could feel Alec nodding. “Sleep tight, Alexander.” He whispered.

“Magnus…”

“Yes?”

“What are we? Are we in a relationship?”

“Yes, Alexander.” Magnus smiled. “We are.”

“Good...I like that.” Alec said, snuggling closer to Magnus—if that was even possible. They were practically glued. Magnus had been very surprised to discover that despite the fact that Alec was taller than him, he was the biggest cuddle monster in existence; Alec simply enjoyed being snuggled and pampered. Magnus supposed it was because Alec was so used to being the one protecting, the one caring, that when he had the chance to be the one who was protected and the one who someone cared about, he took full advantage of it. It hurt Magnus to think that there were not many opportunities for Alec to feel that way.

“I like it too.” He said, hugging Alec tighter.

“I don’t want this date to end.” Alec murmured.

“It won’t, Alexander, it won’t.”

“You promise.”

“I do.”

o-o-o-o-o

When Alec arrived to the Institute with Magnus it was way past ten, but nobody said or implied anything. His sister just smiled at them, they all took their places at the huge table and the meeting began.

Yeah, Alec’s world was still upside down—Hodge, Valentine, the Cup, Jace, his parents, the Institute, the Clave. Wherever he looked there were problems, his present still looked as dark as on the previous night, but somehow with Magnus beside him, things seemed a little bit brighter. He didn't have to go through this alone anymore. And because of that he could allow himself to believe that everything would be fine.

It had to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Don't forget to check out my other malec fics: [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6499420), [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6545815), [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6667624), and [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6751747/chapters/15430084). I'm still new so all the kudos, comments and bookmarks are more than welcome ;) Say hi on [tumblr](http://msalexiscriss.tumblr.com/)!! See you next Friday!!! 
> 
> PS: You can find a rebloggable version (tumblr) of this story [here](http://msalexiscriss.tumblr.com/post/145024665317/summary-magnus-and-alec-are-miserable-since).


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